12 reasons to enjoy China’s Internet governance

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China’s new Internet Czar, Lu Wei, is visiting the US-China Internet Forum to seek a global consensus on Communist Party proposals for information control. How would the worldwide web change under Beijing?

Lu Wei: China's retort to Tim Berners-Lee

Lu Wei: China’s retort to Tim Berners-Lee

  1. No more long loading times: Favorite sites are simply blocked
  2. People will think twice before posting any “anonymous” comments
  3. You never liked puns that much anyway
  4. Time wasting on Facebook, Instagram down 100 percent
  5. With both the NSA and China monitoring, no excuse for feeling lonely
  6. Blame missed deadlines on faulty Google services
  7. China frowns on ethics in all journalism, not just video games
  8. “Net neutrality” means online Swiss banking
  9. Trolling a respectable, patriotic duty
  10. Say goodbye to porn, hello to non-stop erotic pop-up ads
  11. Impress friends by talking about the “Deep Web,” meaning Twitter
  12. You’re not “ignorant.” You’re “spreading positive energy”

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