12 signs that a Chinese guy likes you

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You’ve got that sexy-looking fella in your line of sights. He seems the perfect catch – neither too short, nor too interesting – but how to tell if he likes you? Our resident sex therapist Madame Jiang has the answers, so you don’t have to…

  1. He gives you short, furtive glances but otherwise says nothing
  2. He presses his body right up against yours, although there’s actually plenty of room in the subway car
  3. He offers to help out with your computer, and gives you a quick hit of garlic breath

    Hey, girl – over here, behind this tree

    Hey, girl – over here, behind this tree

  4. He worries that you’re getting too old now to find a decent husband
  5. He always points out if you’ve gained weight
  6. He adds you on Friendster
  7. He doesn’t mind when you don’t answer his calls
  8. Or return any of them
  9. He’s not afraid to tell you his expectations every few hours, via SMS
  10. When you come home at night, he’s waiting below your dormitory window (right)
  11. He refuses to testify against you
  12. You’re the first person he calls when he gets out of prison
Madame Jiang: ancient insight

Madame: ancient insight

Madame Jiang has been a China Daily Show columnist since time immoral. Madame regrets she cannot currently influence government policy on family planning, false advice or imprisonment without trial.

Next week: 12 signs that a Chinese girl likes you

Get all your relationship advice with @chinadailyshow on Twitter

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  • Vezzini

    Is this supposed to be funny in any way? It is not.

  • bert

    it’s funny because they are true.