Aging Canadian announces retirement from The Game

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By QING TAN
Society Correspondent

Fey registers an impressive 4.5 on ratemyschlong.com

BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Sorry, ladies! It looks like Beijing’s most eligible bachelor might have finally hung up his dancing shoes.

Bespectacled expat Russell Fey (pictured, right) has been a mainstay on the capital’s singleton scene ever since his arrival in 2004.

The 46-year-old IT expert, who sports an impressive pate atop thinning hair, wowed local ladies with his good looks and anecdotes about computers and life back home in Canada.

Fey soon notched up an impressive array of bedroom conquests. But according to Beijing society expert Shan Jingping of BeijingDoll.com, the Vancouver lover-man may have split his last condom.

“Russell exclusively bellowed into my ear at a Gongti nightclub last Friday that he’s ‘sick of The Game,’” the gossip queen cooed on her blog last Sunday. According to Shan, Fey has decided to choose one lucky lady to settle down with.

“Unbelievable!” said one commenter. “I faint!” admitted another.

But who is this mystery minx who has captured the rumpled Romeo’s attentions?

Ask roommate, and long-time wingman, “Bald” John Archibald: “Russell has been cagey about it, ever since he came back from a two-week temple holiday in Phuket,” Archibald admitted. “But I reckon it must be someone pretty special because he’s even talked about selling his beloved MacBook Air to pay from some surgical procedure.”

Self-confessed “LA pussy hound” Lay Kwong tweeted that Team Beijing had “lost another good man” but rambled that he himself would keep “fighting the fight against the haters and the skanks.”

China Daily Show caught up with the Sanlitun swordsman at his favorite Beijing hunting ground, the Hard Rock Cafe. “How did I know she was the one?” Fey smiled at the question. “When she asked me to open a joint bank account – that’s when I knew.”

As for exact figures about the notches on the bedpost of Beijing’s answer to Warren Beatty, the facts are sketchy. A consummate gentleman, Fey declined to give exact names or even numbers concerning his former sexual partners. But, he did coyly admit, “They definitely exist.”

Despite his rumored prowess, though, Fey’s manners were never less than impeccable, friends say. “Russell always paid for their taxi fares home,” Archibald recalled. “Even when some of them lived as far away as Hebei.”

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  • Mel Something

    You have used another one of my photos without permission. I do NOT want any of my photos associated with your website.

    • Me Nothing

      Hehe. I wouldn’t want my name associated with that photograph, if you ask me. It’s tough at the top, eh?

    • nega

      Ffs, no on even knew who you are& what you do with your spare time, until YOU put the name of your company up here ! LOL