All-male Politburo offers beacon of hope for men’s rights in China

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By XIAO MEIMEI
Feminism Correspondent

Buzzkiller Liu Yandong could have set men’s rights back by weeks, experts say

BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Beleaguered men’s rights groups have declared that yesterday’s election of an all-male Politburo Standing Committee was a step in the right direction, as far as they are concerned.

“Men have a very tough time of it in China. We have to go to work and – you know, shit like that,” explained Peng Mei, of the All-Male Federation of Chinese Moutai Drinkers (AMFCM). “I tell you one thing, though – my wife doesn’t understand.”

There had been fears among some that a woman – Liu Yandong, a leading female member of the Communist Party’s Central Committee – could actually make it onto the so-called ‘Standing Committee,’ the tiny coterie of elderly politicians who essentially rule China.

Liu’s selection might have threatened the country’s burgeoning men’s rights movement, analysts say, at a time when many still see China as one of the few decent countries left on Earth where a guy can get his drink on any given Wednesday, maybe tap a ho or two with his work buddies after a rich banquet, and still make it to breakfast stinking of baijiu with little more than a cheeky grin and a swift comb-over.

“It was a very close-run thing,” admitted AMFCM treasurer Jin Didi, mopping his jowls. “Luckily, it didn’t happen in the end. Can you imagine, though? It would’ve completely salted everyone’s KTV game… I don’t even want to think about that.”

Liu’s non-selection was greeted with relief by the majority of middle-aged, married male officials, who also happen to make up the majority of China’s middle-aged, married officials.

“It’s difficult enough just getting out of the house every morning without my wife noticing,” muttered embittered Party Secretary for Agriculture and Whatnot Zhang Qishan, whose wide-ranging brief includes forced abortions and women’s rights.

“When I turn off my phone in the evening – that’s it. After another tough day at the office, I want to hit the bricks with my guy pals and, honestly, I don’t want to see another woman unless she’s in minimal hosiery and singing ‘My Way.’ Am I right, boys?”

Others cadres unswervingly agreed.

“I hesitate to use the word a word like ‘sausage-fest’ but – frankly – it’s five in the morning, I’m at a pretty nice level of being toasted, so let’s do this,” declared AMFCM treasurer Didi. “Who’s with me? Man, I love this place.”

Didi’s enthusiasm was also echoed by the country’s numerous male scholars.

“Have you ever heard the expression by Mao Zedong that ‘Men hold up the other half of the sky’? No? Well, write it the fuck down,” Chinese philosopher, writer and historian Ming Fei confidently slurred to reporters. “You guys are going to be using it a lot over the next five years.”

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  • freakzoid

    hahaha so true… my gf totally salted my KTV game this week

  • Apparatchiki310

    We need rights for men in America bad.

    1 million people in the state of Florida are ex-offenders when these men get out they can not return to their wives or live with momma in the ghetto. That the last place a human can live at the botton is the ghetto. While foreigners from Mexico can speak no english we have Vets filling up jails because they simply can not afford to live in the ghettos when their small monthly government checks are sufficient enough to become renters.

    Child support is another big issue that is leading men to commit suicuide not only have I witnessed a suicide in front of police while on a lunch break in front of cops trying to stop a man from killing others I watched him blow out his brains days later I spoke with a neighbor that was going through a divorce he hung himself 1 hour after we spoke I heard the load thump beneath my room.

    70 % of African American women are single in America men are literally blasting out people brains out here to just pay the rent and have sex lives and politicians still cant figure out why America is number 2 in the world for having more registered child molesters per square miles than any where else

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpH8pkz3iow

    Feminist attack Mens Rights

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iARHCxAMAO0

    U.S troops men that have fought for us are now gettting private dorms in state prison why ? Because they are considered less worthy of having access to housing due to their gender,race and inability to have KIDS !!! So we know have projects and low income building packed with many kids that are having kids. In all states in America theri are hardly any men that can rent in areas that cater to their income the statistics will not be released even through the Information Of America Act since a case of housing discrimination could be proven to show Desperate Treatment and Disparate Impact.

  • Chris Roberts

    In Hong Kong in 2010 special observances of International Men’s Day occurred on November 19, with the theme “Blessed Are The Men”. All men were invited to ride for free in the city’s Ngong Ping 360 Tung Chung cable cars for a round-trip on November 19. In the same year an article in China Daily on August 3 asked whether men in China needed their own special day, citing the fact that on International Women’s Day all women in China, who accounted for 45 percent of the workforce, get a mandatory half day off by their employer while men had no such day.

  • Yung Man Kum

    Counter-revolutionary !!!!!