Ask a passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook

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I post public messages about private stuff, so friends contact me to ask what’s wrong. Check out my newsfeed!

Dear passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook,

I am a 35-year-old American, who just moved to Xian for six months to work with the Bill Gates Foundation. It’s tough but exhilarating work – and that’s just finding fresh tampons every month! There is a foreign grocery store, but they run out a lot and they are incredibly expensive there. One friend suggestion going somewhere called ‘Taobao.’ Any advice?

Little terracotta warrior

Passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook says:

Mad now.

Dear passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook,

I’m a 26-year-old British girl with a degree in sports science. Naturally, I want to break into the movies in China. Let me explain: I’m blonde and leggy, and all the cab drivers say my Mandarin is superb. My husband is really supportive: he’s 56, so he needs to be. If you could give me a few pointers I’d be ever so grateful.  I’m trying to meet Chow Yun Fat.

Star is born

Passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook says:

Did you think you could get away with tricking me? Some big and strong part makes a smart lady stupid! Never again!!

Dear passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook,

I’m an average 30-year-old American small-town guy living in Tianjin.  I’ve started dating this chick here, but I’ve been having some trouble with my ‘little emperor.’  Her mother says, “It’s probabry the porrution,” but I’m not sure.

Hard-up

Passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook says:

Some people just not worth of my time anymore, even though i dont want to but i will, love my life always wake up strong and Live life every Day as it is.

Dear passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook,

I really like listening to podcasts on love and dating, but they don’t seem to be very helpful with figuring out the local Xinjiang boys. I have tried wearing sexy tops, cut-off jeans and fuck-me sneakers but that only seems to make them mad. I want to see some Islamic passion in the bedroom – not just in the town square! Considering pole-dancing lessons, any advice?

Ladies night

Passive-aggressive Chinese girl on Facebook says:

Hated him today. Don’t let relationship bring you down. Tonight am happy. Love life!

Last week: Ask Alessandro
Next week: Ask a character in a Cultural Revolution novel

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  • Farrukh Siddiqui

    very soory

  • Wynn

    This is probably the best piece I’ve read n here. The funny thing is that most people won’t get it at all