Ever since I proclaimed myself the Reincarnated Daughter of the Second Son of Jesus Christ and Ruler of the Heavenly Kingdom, things have been going CRA-ZY for me.
Mystery surrounds the fate of Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370. These are the five most credible theories.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – An official campaign against illegal online ‘rumor mongering’ intensified this week, after state mouthpiece the People’s Daily published a series of bogus reports.
JINAN (China Daily Show) – Former Chongqing Party Secretary Bo Xilai was today spectacularly cleared of all charges of embezzlement, misuse of power and crimes of fashion.
QINCHENG (China Daily Show) – Bo Xilai’s stylist today unveiled a dramatic new look for the disgraced former Chongqing politician, currently awaiting trial in Beijing’s upmarket Qincheng Prison for Boys.
SHANGHAI (China Daily Show) – The first season of CSI’s much-anticipated ‘Shanghai’ spin-off has been cancelled, after scriptwriters failed to take into account a complete absence of crime.
Henan (China Daily Show) – A family is appealing for witnesses after a 2004 CCTV Chunwan DVD went missing during Spring Festival celebrations.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – An exasperated Bo Xilai yesterday issued an impatient ultimatum to Beijing officials – just put me on trial.
GUIYANG (China Daily Show) – Surrounded by stacked bills amounting to several million dollars, corrupt Guizhou rail official Du Guan admits he is no longer quite certain why he needs that much money.
ANKANG (China Daily Show) – A county official who forced a young woman to abort her child was today forced to finally give a fuck, after the rest of the country found out about it.