China claims Norwegian fjord as ancient sovereign territory


Politics Correspondent

Norwegian scholars are baffled as to why China wants one of its least interesting lakes

BEIJING (China Daily Show) — The Chinese government today ramped up diplomatic pressure on Norway by claiming an obscure fjord as “sovereign Chinese territory.”

Erskyrykærøyfjord, in the region of Sogn og Fjordane, has long been known by locals as a peaceful and wholly uninteresting body of water.

But all that changed this morning during a press conference held by China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

“New research has come to lighting which conclusive show that Erskyrykærøyfjord is actually Chinese waters, not of the Norway,” said Foreign Affairs spokesman, Ma Shangsha, “and has been so since time immoral.”

According to Ma, the new research is based on an obscure 14th-century Yuan Dynasty map “and other conclusive, contemporary document,” which reference the fjord and its surrounding areas as “Genghis Khan’s favorite whoring sector.”

According to China, the two-kilometer square area was comprehensively conquered in 1349.

“The evidence have proved that the Norway fjord is, was, and always will be sovereign Chinese territory,” the Ma said. “China will not tolerate any attempt to restricting the reunify of all of Chinese territory, and strongly urge Norway to support the One-China politics.”

The announcement is part of a series of stringent measures against Norway, following the country’s award of the Nobel Peace Prize to controversial Chinese dissident and human-rights campaigner Liu Xiaobo, currently serving a 10-year sentence for penning Charter 08, a petition urging gradual political reform.

China has cancelled meetings with Norwegian fisheries ministers and warned diplomats against attending the awards ceremony.

Most recently, Beijing also banned Norwegian salmon fishing off the coast of the Diaoyu Islands, a move described by experts as being both a “thawing of Sino-Japanese relations” and “completely pointless.”

The PS'd version of the map, clearly showing a conquer date of 1349 or thereabouts.

In an interview with China Daily Show, noted Sinologist, philanthropist and historian, Sir William Buckfast said that the territory in question may, in fact, actually be Mongolian.

“The map, if ultimately proven legitimate, would indicate that the Erskyrykærøyfjord actually belongs to Mongolia, not China,” Sir William gently pointed out.

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