By RONG REN
BEIJING (China Daily Show) — Beijing authorities announced Friday that recent rises in gas prices were the direct result of interference from foreign agitators, citing journalists and the Internet as the major culprits.
In response to a hike in gas prices of 350 yuan per ton, Ministry of Energy spokesperson Fu Yeng said in a statement yesterday that the government were not responsible, going on to blame the price hike on a number of other culprits, while declining to go into specifics.
Fu did however add that the news would be unlikely to make foreign headlines because the Western media were directly collaborating on the gas hike.
Bureau chiefs are not the only ones accused of joining what appears to be a worldwide conspiracy to ramp China’s inflation up, a plot that is unconnected to widespread drought and other man-made natural disasters in China, or to the social unrest rumored to be sweeping the Middle East.
Embassies are also involved, says Fu.
“Italy sent 27 pizzas to our Ministry right at the same time as we should have been watching Bloomberg,” Fu alleged.
The gas price hike is hitting citizens hard, and some are taking revenge on the outside world. Xin Mashan, a teacher in a middle school in Shanghai, said that she will never learn or teach anything about other countries ever again as a form of protest.
Xin’s boycott received widespread online attention and has spread across the country, reaching as far as the Ministry of Education’s official national curriculum.
Professor Wang Zhao of Beijing Normal University’s social studies department told China Daily Show that life was much better before the constant interference of foreigners.
“Life was pretty good before open-and-reform,” he sighed. “We had nothing. But we didn’t know we had nothing. Now we realize and it’s all fucked.”
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