China strikes trade deal with Latveria

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By GONGJI XUEPAI
Economics Correspondent

The deal was finalized at midnight, under a blood-red moon

The deal between Li and von Doom (right) was finalized during a tour of Castle Doom under a blood-red moon

DOOMSTADT (China Daily Show) – Widespread excitement followed the news of a new trade deal inked this week between Latverian monarch King Victor von Doom and Chinese Premier Li Keqiang.

The $20-billion agreement was jointly signed in the Latverian capital of Doomstadt Sunday and is believed to be the largest in the small Eastern European country’s history.

Latveria was among the first nations to recognize the People’s Republic of China, which was declared “pleasing to Doom” in 1962.  China later played a critical role in the “Fantastic Four + Two” peace talks.

Nevertheless, the deal has drawn criticism from some Western media, including a stern editorial in Fores, the US golfing magazine. In 2001, the US infamously declared Latveria part of the “Axis of Evil,”  alongside Vorozheika and Genosha.

Latveria’s government was quick to dismiss its pariah status, however.

“Calling Latveria a dictatorship only shows the ignorance of our critics,” said Latveria’s Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Lucia von Bardas. “All Latverians are agreed that Doom must continue to play an eternal role in government.”

Von Bardas also angrily denied claims that Latveria was developing advanced weapons programs. “Our use of death rays is for entirely peaceful development purposes,” von Bardas said. “It is subjective and unscientific to allege that they will be used against that fool Richards.”

Latverian ‘Doom-Bot’ technology is expected to play a major role in future exchanges, with plans for the first 888 cybernetic Li Keqiangs to be dispatched next year. The bots will be used to comfort victims of floods, earthquakes, mud slides, mine explosions and runaway bulldozers across the nation.

Doom has frequently praised the efficiency of China's parliament in previous visits

Doom has praised the efficiency of China’s annual National People’s Congress during previous visits

 

Follow trade deals between China and other prosperous regimes with @chinadailyshow

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  • Timothy Wing

    China will next sign deals with Skeletor’s Eternia and Mumm-ra’s Third Earth.

  • Scott Corrales

    Von Vardas? I thought she had been…uh…detained. Yes, that’s it. Detained.