By WANG WEI
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Who says China doesn’t have a sense of humor? If one anonymous CCP secretary is to be believed, a recent Politburo meeting ended on a lighter-than-usual note when China’s vice-president, “Bungling” Bo Xidan, told his version of a lengthy – and obscene – Western scatological joke.
“With measured planning and well-considered policies in the socialist spirit, China can set an example for the rest of the world and balance its economy while growing in a sustainable, environmentally friendly way,” Bo began. “I recently took a trip down to Wanfujing to witness this in action.”
While touring the famous Beijing shopping street, Bo recounted how he came across what appeared to be a family vaudeville act and described how the father introduced family members one by one, while engaging in progressively lewd sex acts, climaxing with the desecration of a small dog.
“As the father is ramming his wife up the asshole, he calls out to her parents and has Grandma Lin bring out a double-dildo and shove one end into the wife’s mouth,” Bo deadpanned, according to a copy of the minutes seen by China Daily Show. “Grandpa Li then drops his trousers and lets the wife fuck him up the ass with the dildo in her mouth while he removes his dentures and begins sucking his granddaughter, while making a ‘qzzzrrmq’ sound.”
The 24-strong ruling committee of China was said to be puzzled at first by the vulgar anecdote, before CPC Propaganda Head Liu Bangguo finally realized Bo was unspooling his version of a popular joke with roots in the American music hall era. Liu’s laughter broke an uncomfortable silence and soon “the entire room was cackling manically,” the secretary recalled.
Known as the “secret handshake” among stand-up comedians, the Aristocrats joke – also known as the “Debonaires” or the “Sophisticates” – was featured in the 2005 documentary The Aristocrats. While notoriously difficult to execute, it has been known to diffuse uncomfortable situations, most famously when American comedian Gilbert Gottfried saved a poorly timed 9/11 joke by ad-libbing a version.
Bo’s attempt has leaked onto the Internet where, before moderators quickly deleted it, the joke was met with general approval. Some were quick to criticize, however.
“Bo spent 28 seconds elucidating the males’ pleasure but failed to mention if any of the female family members came at all,” complained “passive_aggressive_feminist1987.” “China needs to learn to make Aristocrats jokes that do not hurt people’s feelings.”
Officials have recently been focusing on improving China’s humor standing globally, even imprisoning one citizen for making an old Mao Zedong joke considered “unfunny.” Bo’s joke has been described as “frat boy humor with Chinese characteristics” and references a recent political non-event.
“I saw a grandson getting wanked off by his sister and ejaculate on his mom’s eye, the signal for a well-trained Pekinese to chew out an upside-down character for ‘Fortune’ on the grand-daughter’s aureolae,” Bo concluded. “But I sure as hell didn’t see any Jasmine Revolution!”
Follow this and other top China stories at @chinadailyshow on Twitter