China’s political junkies welcome delay of new Bond movie


Entertainment Correspondent

As this picture illustrates, James Bond is actually a pretty dull guy who hangs out with cars all day

BEIJING (China Daily Show) – China’s vast array of Party-watchers breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday, after hearing that the latest Bond film, Skyfall – originally scheduled for release Friday – has been indefinitely postponed.

As the country gears up for the excitement of the 18th National Party Congress (NPC), starting November 8, few want any other entertainments to distract them from the political hooplah.

“Thank God. I was concerned that the 23rd Bond film, starring Daniel Craig and Javier Barden as villain ‘Silva,’ might possibly overshadow the charisma spectacle that is the 18th NPC,” said Professor Cao Lu, head of Political Re-Education at the Ningbo Regular University of Angling.

“Fortunately, that’s not going to be the case. They just canceled Skyfall instead.”

Admitting that the intriguing predominance of the ‘M’ character, played by Dame Judi Dench, as well as the casting of such veteran British screen luminaries as Ralph Fiennes and Albert Finney, present an enticing cinematic proposition – even for those not normally interested in the classic spy series – history graduate Liu Feng, 22, says she’s delighted she won’t have the difficult choice of deciding whether to follow every move of the new Congress or catch the latest Bond movie instead.

“Now my November and December can be 100 percent, non-stop NPC. After all, it’s all anyone in China, or anywhere else for that matter, can think about,” Liu shrilled, adding that the slew of extra security measures in Beijing provided an added bonus. “These hundreds of minor inconveniences remind us all how about how much we really give a heck!”

While the majority of China’s 1.4 billion cinema-goers agreed the film’s postponement was a good thing, some felt that it had not gone far enough.

“I hope they block the Internet, too,” enthused 19-year-old online gaming addict and NPC junkie Zhao Rong. “Oh, they already have.”

Propaganda official Cao Peng Wang says the cancellation of Skyfall has galvanized Chinese movie audiences, most of whom were glumly anticipating 10 days of political Viagra.

“There is time and place for critically acclaimed Western blockbuster,” Peng Wang warned. “And it certainly not China in November stability period.”

Chinese academics also pointed out the pointlessness of a fresh instalment of the long-running action movie franchise.

“Do we really need another Bond movie to enjoy the spectacle of a megalomaniacal foreign villain bent on world domination?” Professor Cao pointed out. “No. I didn’t think so.”

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  • sdfgdfgh

    I knew the release date was too good to be true. Variety says February, to compete with the Hobbit. Balls. Oh, and excellent work.