‘CSI: Shanghai’ cancelled due to lack of crime


Entertainment Correspondent

Dashing Lieutenant Dashan poses for action, as a streetside slap-fight kicks off over some ladies

Lieutenant Dashan of the Foreign Expert Squad poses for action, as a territorial slap-fight ensues

SHANGHAI (China Daily Show) – The first season of CSI’s much-anticipated ‘Shanghai’ spin-off has been cancelled, after scriptwriters failed to take into account the East Coast city’s complete absence of crime.

Plotlines involving corruption, sexual harassment and high-end ergotou were shelved after quality-control cadres for the State Administration of Radio Film and Television (SARFT)  cited an “insufficient suspension of disbelief” for viewers.

The news comes as a blow to fans, who had been hoping for a forensic examination of the infamous metropolis’s seedy underbelly. 

Instead, producers were forced to admit that it doesn’t exist.

Initially, expectations for the China-based crime drama had been high.

A pilot – featuring an arrogant British businessman foolishly attempting to molest a female kung-fu student – won high praise from critics and viewers alike.

This is essential viewing for young, unemployed men. The exciting plot confronts a serious and very important criminal trend in China today,” wrote the People’s Daily TV critic. “Foreign criminals.”

I liked the bit where she kicks the foreigner hard in the groin and runs into the arms of a nearby CSI inspector for comfort,” said CSI fan Ma Jingguo, 17. “That was particularly satisfying and realistic.”

A plainclothes cop waits for a minor misdemeanour to occur on his watch

The detectives at CSI: Shanghai prepare to investigate a high-level wok theft

Yet SARFT officials later lambasted producers, after details of the second episode – in which a city official forces a subordinate to dine at a Japanese restaurant with him – were leaked on an online BBS forum.

According to an internal SARFT memo, “The opening scene depicts the cadre leaving his duties to answer a personal phone call. He is then shortly after seen at a lunch banquet, drinking a light alcoholic beverage and encouraging his companions to do likewise.

“To depict top leaders’ behavior in such an unrealistic manner is hurtful to the image of the Party and offends the feelings of the Chinese audience,” the memo concluded with quiet fury.

It is believed that angry censors did not even bother viewing the next scene, in which the same Shanghai official sodomizes an unconscious male prostitute, before choking on his own vomit. 

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  • Chinese Netizen

    I heard there will be an upcoming biopic on a certain sycophant foreigner in Shanghai who brags about fishing with mid level cadre and writes glowingly about China to a clueless American audience through a major US publication. Rumor has it the title will be: “I’m awesome! You can’t Rein me in!”

  • Mick

    Is that Jonathan-Kos-Read in the photo – the american actor in China?