By TIANTIAN XIANGSHANG
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – An investigation by the Ministry of Education has uncovered huge numbers of Chinese students obtaining fake diplomas from “illegally-operating overseas nations.”
The crackdown on 1,225,080 recent graduates alleges that most had never left China for study, as claimed on their CVs, but had instead paid private agencies to supply them with the necessary paperwork, including fake visas, stamped diplomas and copies of artificial UN charters declaring the sovereign status of 11 uncharted territories, spanning eight continents.
The fabricated nations include Turdukistan, the Kingdom of Bavaria and the United States of Armenia, with forged tuition invoices from Al Qaeda Polytechnic, the Hinterland Institute and Hogwarts.
On August 16, the diploma of Zhao Minsheng, Minister of Education, was found to be printed on Rizla cigarette rolling paper. Zhao was tried and convicted before supper, prompting the full-scale investigation by next morning, exposing Zhao as the centerpiece of the operation.
“The Chinese education system has always encouraged cheating so that the clever may rise above the careless,” said the tearful Minister during his swift trial. “My only regret is that I have been caught, thus bringing shame to my family and colleagues, who have always regarded me as someone who could get away with anything.”
In light of the investigation, Ministry of Education Undersecretary, Tang Tingwei, has called for immediate sanctions against the “false regimes,” stating, “the ease of exposure of these rogue nations threatens the foundation of our purposefully vague system. Impressionable Chinese youngsters ought not be groomed in such casual global circumstances.”
Tang, who holds a degree in Native American English from Deganawidah-Quetzalcoatl University, in Yolo County, California, is expected to replace Zhao Minsheng as Ministry of Education Secretary pending evaluation of his credentials.
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