By GUI TOUTAI
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – The ghost of former Communist leader Mao Zedong is still haunting Beijing 40 years after his death, multiple witnesses claim.
The restless spirit – bearing the unmistakably bizarre bob-cum-combover of the dearly departed dictator – has been spotted weaving through Nanluoguxiang, Qianmen and the Great Hall of the People, bearing a horrified expression on his face.
Some now believe Mao’s spirit is doomed to wander Tiananmen in search of his long-deceased socialist ideology, although the apparition is also said to make frequent unsolicited approaches to passing females.
“I was goosed from behind,” recalls 14-year-old Wu Fei (pictured, right), who visited the Forbidden City with her family. “When I turned, there was the Chairman, shimmering and denouncing me for my bourgeois fashion. After much scrutiny, he demanded I immediately join a PLA dancing troupe. Naturally, I screamed.
“My grandfather later scolded me, explaining it is an honor to be molested by such an esteemed phantom. I now have a shrine to the Great Helmsman in my bedroom and pray that his salacious spirit will soon return.”
It has long been assumed by spiritualists that Mao’s soul was consigned to a hellfire of eternal torture and damnation for his genocidal ways. Instead, it seems the erstwhile despot may be trapped in earthly limbo, doomed to eternally wander Beijing, searching for his defunct Maoist school of thought, and underage skirt.
The supernatural Supreme Leader even made a spectral appearance on last year’s anniversary of the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre.
“Don’t listen to what they say,” the ghost allegedly beseeched Maria Chassing, a 17-year-old French woman who met the rotting ex-ruler in a trendy hutong cafe. “Come to the Square today.”
The visitation left the overseas student shaken. “Mao looked like a zombie: green teeth, flaxen hair, bloodshot eyes, waxy skin,” shudders Chassing. “But I spoke to some historians afterwards and apparently, that’s just what he looked like.”
Not everyone is spooked by the mortified Marxist’s appearances, however.
“I’m OK with this,” government critic Zhao Lujun told reporters. “It’s refreshing to finally meet a Chinese leader who’s transparent.”