Grandson of Mao Zedong wishes he was grandson of someone else


Ancestors Correspondent

Mid-way through the NPC, Major-General Mao Xinyu suddenly has a great idea for a screenplay

BEIJING (China Daily Show) – The grandson of Chairman Mao Zedong has spoken of his dissatisfaction at being the revolutionary Chinese leader’s closest living relative.

In an extraordinarily frank interview, extraordinarily promoted Major-General Mao Xinyu laid bare his soul to the media, saying that the public perception of him as being merely a “jovial intellectual” is only half the story.

“I’m actually very insecure,” he admitted.  “Because of that, I ignored the teachers at schools and my weight ballooned.”

Mao – who lists his interests as “philosophy, calligraphy and the multiple applications of lard” – also complained about the attention his famous grandfather bestowed upon him.

“Public expectations are too high,” Mao said. “I can’t even fall asleep in the National People’s Congress without people noticing and pointing it out.”

He blamed this insecurity on his grandfather’s legacy, which includes a man-made famine that left 40 million dead and numerous political purges throughout the 1950s, 60s and 70s, as well as some good stuff.

“In truth, you never know if people are looking at you and thinking ‘thank you’ – or ‘fuck you,’” Mao chafed. “To some, I represent the founding of a strong China. To others, Grandpa’s the guy that ruined their  life – and sometimes, that of their parents. And, quite possibly, grandparents as well.

“It’s different strokes for different folks.”

As a consequence, Mao claimed, he now has few friends. He fell out with one close pal, fellow socialist founding-father’s grandson Kim Jong-un, after Kim allegedly grew distant and aloof.

“Kim beat me at a couple of pie-eating contests in Switzerland – no biggie. But then, after he took the throne, he simply became impossible,” the warrior-like Mao seethed. “Just rude and downright murderous.”

Some childhood friends, such as the Gaddafis Jr and Uday Hussein, Mao has lost touch with. Others are simply wanted by international crime tribunals.

But Mao reserved his biggest scorn for the grandchildren of the much-loved late Chinese premier, Zhou Enlai.

“Zhou’s grandkids get all the respect that should be my birthright. Everyone thinks Zhou Enlai was wise, decent and upright but the fact is, he murdered a ton of people too.

“It wasn’t all Grandpa’s fault. He was actually right 70 percent of the time. People forget that.”

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‘At least I’m not the grandson of Lin Biao or Hu Yaobang!’ Major-General Mao joked with reporters. Both are now auto-parts assemblers


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