Honorable businessman is found dead-drunk


Society Correspondent

‘I’m just gonna drink this coffee, hurl, then head back to the office’

CHENGDU (China Daily Show) – A Chinese businessman was escorted intoxicated and helpless from a small Sichuanese restaurant yesterday, local residents claim. Eyewitnesses report it was approximately four-thirty in the afternoon.

The red-faced entrepreneur was seen attempting to pay his bill for the third time – even though his wallet was on the floor – while angrily refusing any money from his companions. The man later stumbled and cleared a whole table of beer and hongshaorou reaching for the wallet.

Fellow diners have also confirmed that the 38-year-old executive repeatedly reminded onlookers– in sometimes-explicit terms – that he was not only “a businessman” but also “honorable.”

Passers-by outside exchanged indifferent glances at the sight of the hardworking father-of-two being assisted to a nearby car and handed his keys by a trio of laughing, similarly inebriated associates.

Neighbours afterwards were quick to pass comment on the atypical scene.

“It’s not even dark yet,” tutted local gossip Hua Jin. “I’m just disappointed there are no children around to witness this outrage.”

And law enforcement had a message to pass on, too.

“Man, that guy is majorly fucked-up,” chuckled policeman Wang Du. “What time is it – nearly five? That’s impressive.”

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  • loll

    amazing. so funny