Jiang Zemin planned to ‘Kanye’ new Ai Weiwei exhibition

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By JONAS WHALE
Entertainment Correspondent

Jiang last got props for his subtle heckle of Richard Gere at a 2002 UN convention on human rights

NEW YORK (China Daily Show) –A sensational plan to sabotage Ai Weiwei’s latest Manhattan art installation in May has been leaked to the media, after New York police detained an 84-year-old man on suspicion of trespassing yesterday.

According to sources, a plot for a senior Communist Party official to “do a Kanye West” at the launch of Ai’s Circle of Animal Heads/Zodiac Heads at the Pulitzer Fountain early next month was signed off by several key Politburo figures.

Former Premier Jiang Zemin is rumored to have caught wind of it during an afternoon tea session with top officials and immediately volunteered for the task.

Pointing to his ownership of a pair of awesome white aviator sunglasses “ideally suited to the job,” Jiang insisted he should take on the burden , proposing the task be modeled on West’s infamous stage-crash in support of Beyonce at the 2010 Grammy Awards.

Artist and government critic Ai Weiwei was detained by police earlier this month for alleged “economic crimes”  as he went to board a plane at Beijing airport.  The “Kanye-ing” was apparently planned with foreknowledge of Ai’s arrest, as Jiang was concerned that the plan might falter if, during the Kanye, he “got punched.”

Jiang apparently planned to take the stage before delivering his heckle, worded thus:  “Hey, guys… Imma let you finish but I just wanna say, these heads are cool but Henry J. Hardenburgh made one of the best hotels… of all time!” The reference is thought to refer to the Plaza Hotel’s original architect, where the Pulitzer Fountain – and new sculpture installation – is located.

The New York Police Department (NYPD) released a brief statement regarding the unnamed 84-year-old ’s arrest this morning.

“A citizen of the People’s Republic of China, who cannot be named for diplomatic reasons, was taken into custody today on suspicion of conspiracy to cause a public nuisance. The aforementioned gentleman informed us that his detention was likely to cause him to miss a planned rendezvous at Shaquille O’Neill’s beach-front home in Los Angeles. When NYPD was able to confirm these statements, we released the gentleman without charge,” the statement said.

A Chinese  Foreign Ministry spokeswoman refused to be drawn on the issue. “Premier Jiang Zemin has been in his home recording studio in Macau, as usual, for the last month,” was the terse official response to questions.

Previous examples of attempts to sabotage entertainment figures deemed “enemies of China” include:

  • Foreign Minister Tian Ming submitting a snitty Amazon.com review of Guns n’ Roses’ 2008 album Chinese Democracy that mocked singer Axl Rose’s vocals and production, and made unfavorable comparisons to Nickelback and The Spaghetti Incident
  • Embassy official Kan Wei pretending to forget Brad Pitt’s name when they met backstage at the 2009 Academy Awards
  • Vice-Minister of Culture Eyou Ebao is said to have been instrumental in persuading Sharon Stone to star in Basic Instinct 2

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