Jobless Lindsay Lohan considering TEFL work in China: cellmate


Entertainment Correspondent

Lohan is reported to be giving serious thought to taking up an academic position in China

LOS ANGELES (China Daily Show) – Lindsay Lohan’s cellmate has revealed that America’s least favorite actress and noted cocaine lover is considering teaching English in China as part of a “personal journey of self-discovery.”

An anonymous prison guard from the minimum-security Brentwood facility confirmed yesterday that a screened telephone call was placed by Babs ‘the Beast’ Bellavaqua, 43, of Compton, Los Angeles, to her lawyer, in which the Mean Girls actress’s intentions were revealed.

“’I want to get as far away from drugs as possible,’ that’s what she said,” Bellavaqua told her attorney in a tape heard by China Daily Show, yesterday. “Lindsay feels unwanted, unloved and unable to get a job in her own country.”

Experts agree that a working visit to China seems the obvious solution.

Phone calls placed by China Daily Show to Lohan’s parents were not immediately returned. But a visa agent in Beijing has reported receiving the passport of one Michael Joseph Lohan, Sr, shortly after the news was released.

“He wanted the one-year tourist visa,” said the agent, who preferred to remain anonymous on account of legal complications regarding her agency. “As for his daughter, I don’t know.”

A Peking University source, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that the university was on stand-by to sack its current Visiting Emeritus Professor of Literature, Toni Morrison, and hire Lohan at a moment’s notice,  should the actress decide to pursue academia in China.

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  • cupcakeke

    China… “‘I want to get as far away from drugs as possible” .. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right. Also wtf has being half black got anything to do with going to China?!

  • mandy c

    this is lie. lohen is love america. she famous and so no need china because hollywod is fabulous

  • Zstu Postgrad

    Why not? She would fit right in with the expat community teaching in China. Birds of a feather and all.

  • Anonymous

    Nice right up to the bit about Toni Morrison. Not really enough of a contrast to work.

  • The Chinese men are waiting for a nice wife! GO ! Fighting!