Local boyfriend completes final stage in emasculation process

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By PA LAOPO
Relationships Correspondent

Zhang loves Ting (right). It’s uncertain how Ting feels about Zhang, however

SHANGHAI (China Daily Show) – Slipping on a matching green top, oversized lens-free spectacles and a pair of comfortable, purple velour tracksuit bottoms, 23-year-old Zhang Lulu today completed his long assimilation into becoming an anatomically incorrect – but otherwise exact – female counterpart of his 24-year-old girlfriend, Tong Ting.

“I just want Ting to be happy,” Zhang simpered. “And if that involves giving up my identity and pandering to her every child-like need, that is really not much to give up – I was pretty vapid to begin with.”

Zhang answered China Daily Show’s question as he sauntered through a housing compound alongside his girlfriend, wearing matching Pleasant Goat and Big Bald Wolf pajamas and hair scrunchie.

Yet Zhang is seemingly unconcerned, or unaware, that his utter absence of any positive masculine attributes could have an adverse effect on his personal life, once Ting tires of him and moves onto her next, febrile, human plaything.

“I will do anything it takes to keep Ting in my life, even if, by doing whatever it takes, I inevitably become an object of contempt to Ting and essentially drive her from my arms,” Zhang smiled pitifully, while staring hard at the back of Ting’s neck. “Does that make any sense? No, I thought not.”

A distracted Ting defended Zhang’s honor after finishing up a phone call with her mother – the seventh of the day.

“I do quite love Zhang. He’s a bit like the sister I never had,” she sighed. “As my parents were not legally permitted to have another child.”

You can follow us at @chinadailyshow on Twitter

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  • The febrile human plaything.

    This site consistently delivers
    the goods. Awesomeness.

    • hotshit

      agreed.

      • Jamie

        So true. Appreciate from the febrile, pussy whipped crowd

  • Sander

    I wonder if he will ever get shoes that match the colour of the purse he always carries for her~