Shenzhen mistress transferred to Beijing division

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By BERT N’ERNAI
Relationships Correspondent

Jiang says she has spent her whole life waiting for this moment

DONGGUAN (China Daily Show) – In a move that has stunned long-time observers of the Professional Mistress League (PML), notably lissom arm-candy Jiang Bingfling, 16, has been been promoted to the Beijing Premier Division.

The fragrant rising star of Shenzhen’s “Mistress Village,” Jiang – known as the ‘Camomile Concubine’ –has been a mainstay of the vibrant southern boomtown’s Lo Wu district league since she qualified aged 13.

The trade was officially announced as being made to an “anonymous Beijing bureaucrat,” in exchange for two future draft-picks for Jiang’s former owner, the Hong Kong playa and tobacco-flavoring millionaire, 63-year-old Vincent “Sammy” Kwok.

The ernai exchange followed months of tense negotiations, which began after Kwok told friends he was “looking for perhaps a bit more variety” to complement his Guangdong-based PML league.

The PML has been mired in controversy since actress Zhang Ziyi, a long-time friend of disgraced politician Bo Xilai, publicly transferred herself to nearby Hong Kong. The move was widely seen as an attempt to disprove allegations that she was the PML’s top scorer, boasting payments of $1 million per match.

Jiang’s new bureaucrat-boss is believed to be Hu Yong, 55, head honcho at the Beijing Department of Floral Science. Sources say Hu has had his eye on the long-limbed Jiang since seeing her perform at an after-hours trade meeting in Guangzhou with Kwok, and now wanted to “put another kind of appendage on her” – namely, his wrinkled mouth.

“Though he had already heard tell of her deft moves, Jiang’s skillful throat and innocent talent for the songs of both Cantonese “heavenly angel” Wang Fei [aka Fay Wong] and Mandopop hit-machine Jolin Tsai endeared her to Hu’s heart forever,” said the friend. “He wanted to bang her on the spot, but instead began formal negotiations with Kwok shortly after.”

Hu says he is looking forward to playing away for much of this season

Kwok, who had talent-spotted Jiang in a KTV bar six weeks earlier, is said to be delighted with the deal.

“Sammy felt the relationship had gone as far as it could go,” said a source to Kwok. “Jiang was also seen as very last-season. There’s no shortage of rural talent in Shenzhen and seemingly no end to Sammy’s wealth and peremptory boredom.”

Jiang will receive a two-bedroom furnished flat in Beijing’s exclusive Diaoyutai No 7 Complex in Haidian district, jade goods worth an estimated 20,000 yuan and unlimited free Wifi. In return, she is expected to provide “agreeable and demure comforts” to Hu in the sporadic moments when he can slip away from his wife, family, official duties and numerous other mistresses.

“It’s a great deal for Jiang,” said a top PML agent. “Hu’s last girlfriend went on ‘the great shopping trip to the sky,’ after threatening to blackmail him.”

The lucky Lolita seemed to agree.

Speaking from a bath of asses’ milk and lotus petals, between long periods of tedium and plaiting her hair, Jiang listlessly told China Daily Show she was “grateful for the opportunity” and is currently hard at work perfecting her puppy noises.

Follow China news at @chinadailyshow on Twitter

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  • Guest

    In China in English. foreigners are only allowed to make fun of China. If any foreigner dares make fun of all the retarded foreigners, he will be censored immediately by the iron fist of justice.

  • Bobo

    Been a while since we had the ‘fenqing’ on here…