BEIJING (China Daily Show) – All nine members of China’s outgoing Politburo Standing Committee this morning committed ritual suicide onstage, in front of 4,000 delegates and foreign media at the 18th National Party Congress.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – As one of the biggest political events of the decade slides into its second week, many who’ve flown in for the event are realizing that there’s absolutely nothing to write about.
Dear sycophantic delegate at the 18th National People’s Congress, Yesterday my husband fell on top of our “ayi” (nanny) and she was trapped underneath him for several hours. Any advice?
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – An explosive 15-minute reform speech at the 18th National Party Congress by President Hu Jintao had to be abruptly cancelled after Hu left it in his car.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) –This year’s Seventh Plenary Session of the outgoing 17th Central Committee will be “even bigger, better and louder than ever before,” according to excited officials.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – The only surviving grandson of Chairman Mao Zedong has spoken of his occasional dissatisfaction at being the Chinese dictator’s closest living relative.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – A global poll of dictators has shown huge satisfaction with their one-party systems.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – The Chinese Communist Party today issued an appeal asking everyone to just shut the fuck up for a minute or two.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – The conviction of a 13-year-old girl for “state subversion” proves that the country is making judicial progress, experts say.
SHANGHAI (China Daily Show) – The “Shaun Rein” line of government apologists has finally been cancelled due to “complications,” according to a source in the Chinese government.