BEIJING (China Daily Show) – All five Fuwa – the cuddly Olympics mascot dolls, whose names once spelt out ‘BeiJing Huan Ying Ni’ (‘Beijing Welcomes You’) – have fallen on hard times, we can reveal.
Lhasa (China Daily Show) – Tibet is to be closed for routine cleaning and repairs, the Chinese Foreign Ministry told reporters yesterday.
LHASA (China Daily Show) – A self-immolating monk says he’s packing in the fireworks, after his last conflagration failed to attract a single journalist.
LLASA (China Daily Show) – Lawmakers are considering a “Good Samaritan” law after Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao was left to writhe in agony at a peace rally.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) — The main reason for retaining Tibet and Xinjiang is to ensure future maps of China form the exact shape of a giant rooster, WikiLeaks documents reveal.
CANNES (China Daily Show) – An anti-government film set in Tibet seems destined for obscurity, after failing to elicit a single angry reaction from Beijing.
Lhasa (China Daily Show) — Fearing “a looming horde of separatist jackals,” the Chinese Ministry of Atheism announced measures intended to penalize religious separatists ad apocalytum.
CLEVELAND, OH (China Daily Show) – Friends of a US citizen returned from a six-month stint in China have revealed the mild-mannered businessman has become a “complete China bore.”
Delhi (China Daily Show) – The spiritual leader of Tibet yesterday shocked onlookers by announcing his imminent retirement from public life.