SHANGHAI (China Daily Show) – It was a day of mourning at The New York Times China offices today, after its ace reporter Chase Ketterman was discovered buried alive beneath a gigantic mound of paperwork.
FOSHAN (China Daily Show) – A blind pensioner has been condemned as a “money-grubbing fame whore” by netizens.
DALIAN (China Daily Show) — A Chinese fishing boat captain has upset naturalists after eating what is believed to be the world’s last surviving mermaid.
BEIJING (China Daily Show) — A top-secret government car killed 32 people Saturday after realizing it could get away with anything.
SHENZHEN (China Daily Show) — An English teacher’s decision to stage an act of individuality in front of his creative writing class Tuesday resulted in 14 maimed students and one dead poetry teacher.
KUNMING (China Daily Show) — The mystery of Bigfoot’s existence has been solved after a chance visit to a Chinese restaurant found the last remaining ape-man sold for hotpot.
HEYUAN, SHAANXI (China Daily Show) – A nation was united in pride today as the corpses of 187 miners were reunited with their families.
SAINT PAUL (China Daily Show) – A Minnesota family allegedly endured a ten-hour hotel ordeal, during which all five were forced to watch CCTV-9 without pause.