That Obama-Xi presser in full


US President Obama held a joint press conference with Chinese President Xi Jinping to conclude their APEC 2014 discussions. Here’s the text in full.

Obama and Xi have contrasting presidential styles

Obama and Xi have contrasting presidential styles

Droid: You ask question now!

Reporter: Did the United States play a role in the recent Hong Kong protests?

President Obama: We played the role of bystander. And I think our great success in that role is a testament to the extraordinary growth in ties between our two countries

Reporter: The climate deal promises the US will cut emissions by over a quarter by 2025, with China emissions peaking “no later than 2030.” Could you explain these targets?

Obama: Just looking at the clear, blue skies of Beijing – once synonymous with pollution – it’s, ah, “clear” that China is firmly in control of its environmental degradation. Therefore, we felt it was… OK to keep the wording a little vague, and say we’ll have emissions, uh, down by “around 2030”

Reporter: So that target could be 2031, or 2032 or even 2035?

Obama: Either way, none of us [indicates President Xi] will be around to deal with that

Droid: [To Chinese reporter] Delete all remarks suggesting President Xi may not be around in 2030

Reporter: President Xi, do you think these targets are attainable?

President Xi: Even a mighty lake begins with just a few droplets from the sky. Don’t go chasing waterfalls

Reporter: Did you discuss the issue of human rights?

Obama: It is the United States’ position that human rights are universal, whether you are born in New York, Paris or Hong Kong. Just not China.

Xi: The quality of mercy is not strained. It falleth from the heavens like acid rain. It is twice blessed: It blesses me. And it blesses my friends

Reporter: Several foreign journalists continue to be denied visas. Can President Xi explain whether this situation can be rectified?

Xi: China is country under rule of whim. Don’t fight it. Life is a rollercoaster, just gotta ride it. And should that rollercoaster unexpectedly plunge to the ground, killing dozens, well – who’s fault is that?

Droid: No more questions! You will leave immediately. Happy APEC, please respect rules and regulations

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