That Rui Chenggang charge sheet in full


The CCTV anchor and Davos host Rui Chenggang has appeared in newspapers, charged with a wide range of crimes, including using influence for financial advantage. The full rap sheet has been leaked to CDS by an incorruptible policeman 

Rui in less schadenfreudian times

Rui Chenggang in less schadenfreudian times

  • Once claimed to speak for “All of Asia,” a privilege only ever bestowed on two personages (Mr Jackie Chan and our honored President)
  • Routine obsequies to President upon election were deemed “half-hearted, perfunctory… unwilling to push the tongue deep”
  • Repeatedly claimed his English was “excellent,” when, in fact, it was merely OK. And not nearly as good as Premier Li’s
  • Plagiarized 1997 anti-Starbucks material from 1893 Boxer pamphlet
  • Bag, containing a framed picture of Rui with Bo Guagua and two lesbian DVDs, found in Rui’s car elevator
  • Always took last decent pudding in CCTV canteen
  • Kept referring to himself in third person (“Rui doesn’t like that”)
  • Police actually meant to arrest Yang Rui. Can’t back down now
  • No one really likes him anyway

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