Wealthy white guy wonders where it all went so right

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Balls added that, in a true meritocracy, anyone can marry a Golden Sachs banker

BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Studying the Chinese system, Daniel Balls, a white scholar, had just one question: Why have I been so lucky?

The answer — “because I deserve it” — prompted Balls to write a stunning new memoir, Complete Balls: Why China is a Meritocracy and You Can Too which is endlessly extracted in the Wall Street Journal this week.

In the trex, 54-year-old academic Balls explains how he struggled to be born a child of privilege, and details his noble effort to maintain his status through marriage and personal connections in China. “The Chinese system is amazing, but very opaque,” Ball told reporters.  “We can learn from that, which is why I never give interviews or properly explain myself. That’s the unique secret of Chinese meritocracy: It’s secret.”

Balls says the key to life is to be born rich, then marry someone even richer. “I think the West has lost touch with this simple Buddhist wisdom,” he says. “We need to get in touch with our accountants again.”

At the time of going to press, Balls was unwittingly attending a Hallowe’en costume party dressed in Hanfu clothing.

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