Who suppressed it best: Hong Kong or Ferguson?

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It may look some redneck cop just shot another unarmed black guy. Actually, those pictures you’re seeing all over the Internet are being taken in Hong Kong – NOT the US.

Sorry, folks. Seems America doesn’t have a monopoly on paramilitary police harassing peaceful protests.

No prizes for guessing who’s competing hardest to take over this traditional American stronghold: that’s right, China. But have we still got the stones to put on the ultimate showdown of excessive police brutality, or is the People’s Republic getting Yellow-Perilously closing to eating the West’s authoritarian lunch? Let’s take a look…

1. Pointing guns at unarmed people

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This one’s almost too close to call – but if you put an M-4 to our head and threatened to fire a rubber bullet, we’d blurt out, “Ferguson!”

 

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We say: Military-grade weaponry will always have that long-range edge on an old-fashioned shotgun

 

 

 

2. Media coverage silenced

Time to go back to Marxist J-school, Jake

Time to go back to Marxist J-school, Jake

Sorry, Jake Tapper, but running around – live on air! – telling the American public about the egregious behavior of their small-town police forces sounds suspiciously like a free press to us

We say: China. CNN, how about claiming that a lot of people in Ferguson were celebrating Martin Luther King Day early this year?

 

3. Police dressed-up as obvious bad guys

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Amazing: Both the Hong Kong police and Ferguson PD have taken a clear leaf out of Wolfenstein

 

 

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We say: A clear draw. Doesn’t matter where you are, that’s some scary-ass, SS-looking shit

 

 

 

4. Comparisons to Tiananmen

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Again, we have to take our hats off to the Chinese authorities. It took at least a week for a cartoonist in American to make this Tank Man analogy. In Hong Kong? About five hours

 

 

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We say: China. Hats off, too, to you HK protestors for coming up with an umbrella as an image of peaceful protest. It almost makes you look like law-abiding demonstrators, rather than violent revolutionaries

 

 

 

 

5. Cops looking bored

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Hey, it’s not just hard work for those peeps out protesting. Anyone’s arms will get a little stiff from tossing CS grenades. Cops need to relax too, but the question is: Who does it with more style?

 

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We say: It’s ’Murica. Arms folded, exchanging eye-rolling glances, the Ferguson boys in blue radiate disdain for peaceful assembly, making the Hong Kong cops look lazy in comparison

 

 

 

6. Protestors looking peaceful

fergusonprotesterspoliceFerguson may have launched the “Don’t shoot!” look but the Chinese are true professionals when it comes to reproducing stuff on a mass scale

 

 

 

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We say: China, hands down. Or rather, hands up!

 

 

 

Verdict: Man the barricades and top up the Homeland Security budget, America – because the Chinese are coming!

Keep up to date with all things authoritian with @chinadailyshow on Twitter

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